Dear Abby: When I Was Preparing To Get Remarried, My Mother Said A Second Wedding Was Not Important


Dear Abby: I left a manipulative and abusive marriage after 18 years.My parents were totally supportive of my decision. When I got engaged to my now husband, a wonderful man, her mother and many other family members told me that a second wedding was “not important” and should have gone to court.

I had a very small wedding. Even my parents didn’t give us gifts. My mother was also unwilling to help with the planning (my husband and I paid for everything) and said I wasn’t worthy of a second wedding gift. I received a gift. I expected nothing and was grateful for what we got. Am I wrong for being hurt so deeply? — Happier in the South

Dear Happiness: You mentioned that your first husband was manipulative and abusive. It’s understandable that your mom’s words hurt and offend you. It was cruel, disrespectful, and unnecessary. In fact, it was so reckless that I could not help but wonder if it was painfully calculated. If this is typical of her, reevaluate your relationship, protect yourself, and take a step back.Remember that your best “revenge” is your happy marriage.

Dear Abby: I had to go to the ER the other day with severe knee pain. After being seen and released, I called my son to pick me up. It was 11:30 at night. Neither he nor my daughter-in-law answered the phone! The next day his wife told me he had a full time job. (Both of them work in hospitals.) My grandson said mom wasn’t mad at me, but I’m so hurt. Any advice would be appreciated. — No response in Virginia

Dear Reply: This unfortunate event should serve as a lesson for the future. Try talking to your son and wife. The three of you need to understand what should happen in the event of a medical emergency. This includes not only who must provide transportation, but also the supervision required. You should also have advance directives in place that include who you should contact in case you are unable to speak for yourself.

Dear Reader, Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. No Thanksgiving is complete without sharing a traditional prayer written by our dear late mother.

Oh Heavenly Father,

We appreciate your food and remember being hungry.

We thank you for your health and remember the sick.

We thank your friends and remember your friendlessness.

We appreciate your freedom and remember your slaves.

May these memories inspire us to serve.

May your gift to us be used for others.


Have fun and stay safe everyone! — Love, Abby

Dear Abby was written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

For everything you need to know about planning a wedding, order ‘How to Have a Great Wedding’. Please send your name, mailing address and $8 check or money order to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, PO Box 447, Mount Morris, IL 61054-0447.


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Written by Natalia Chi

Chicago Popular; Chicago breaking news, weather and live video. Covering local politics, health, traffic and sports for Chicago, the suburbs and northwest Indiana.

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