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2022 World Cup: What It Means

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America is great. The United States is the proper way to say “excellent,” except in the luscious realm of football. Again, we Americans aren’t exceptional, let alone excellent, when it comes to football, so at least not on the men’s side. Our national team was ranked a modest 16th by FIFA.

Our youngsters were in a 1-1 draw against Wales on Monday. It’s the first of a four-year tournament that the United States has never won (yet?). Brazil has won her five times, Germany and Italy four times each, Argentina, France and Uruguay twice each, and England and Spain once each. We’re still stuck with bupkis, is this our year?

“When the Ford F-450 flies,” the rest of the world sneers.

If we’re going to shock the world of football, those of us watching at home, or considering it, should at least understand what we’re hearing and seeing. We hope you find our glossary of World Cup and general football terms useful.

Group stage: First, teams are divided into eight groups of four in a round-robin fashion, with the top two players from each group advancing. Think of this as tracking divisional standings in baseball with only slightly less ripping on White’s socks.

Knockout stage: This is the final 16 win-loss bracket and the only time fistfights are allowed. Remember when someone who didn’t know anything told you not to use your hands in soccer?

Stop time: After 90 minutes where no one normally scores, another 3-4 minutes with no goals scored.

Extended time: It’s basically overtime, but it only happens in the knockout stage, not in sudden death. These were his most excruciating 30 minutes in football, aside from the “Beard After Hours” episode of “Ted Lasso.”

A textbook example of selling a foul.

A textbook example of selling a foul.

Benjamin Kremer/AFP via Getty Images

Sudden death: This is when a player throws their body to the ground as if they were knocked down by a howitzer blast, with little or no calf eaten.

Penalty Kick: Tense and sometimes brutal, it remains the punishment given to players who fail to catch an opponent pinning a “kick me” sign on the back of their shorts.

Admit: It’s just a fancy word for giving up on your goals and what you don’t do when you lose an election.

Goalpost: A netminder (often a very tall man in gloves and a weird shirt) posted an Instagram photo or tweet[送信]The problem occurs when I press .

Referee: This is someone who runs around the field with the players in a theater display, gives a warning look, spitefully issues harsh orders, and pauses only to write an entry in some sort of private journal.

Assistant Referee: They have one duty: to raise a little flag over their heads whenever something too exciting is about to happen.

Offside again? Come on man.

Offside again? Come on man.

Luis Acosta/AFP via Getty Images

Offside: This is when the attacking player is in the opponent’s half of the field and behind the defense before passing the ball.

yellow card: It’s very similar to a personal foul in soccer, with no 15-yard penalty and a huge amount of effort required.

Red card: Getting one of these will force the team to take down a man for the rest of the game. is.

Tackle: This is one of the beauties of the game, as players slide cleanly to pull the ball away from their opponents. However, if someone gets too good, Ryan Poles will immediately try to trade him.

“What a ball!” This is what someone in your middle shouts whenever a player makes a particularly good pass.

“What a pass!” This is what someone in you who pretends to know football will shout every time a player delivers a particularly good ball.

VARs: Football instant replay system is known by this acronym. This stands for Video Assistant Referee. You get a separate score for the funniest robots than the men and women working, right?

Set piece: This is the name of an anti-climax kick that wastes a lot of time before players from both teams push, push, and randomly jockey for positions in front of goal.

handball: It is never a good idea when one of the players carelessly allows the ball to stray from any part of his outstretched arm. But enough about Bears receivers.

Golden Boots: The World Cup’s top goalscorers receive this coveted award, the holy grail for all greats. Alas, the U.S. has never won the boot either. This is the definition of “expired”.


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Written by Natalia Chi

Chicago Popular; Chicago breaking news, weather and live video. Covering local politics, health, traffic and sports for Chicago, the suburbs and northwest Indiana.

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